Say something about gay babies.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
