what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
