And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
