No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
