you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
