Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can I color on your dick again?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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