Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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