And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
