Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
