Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
