once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize