after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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