You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
