I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
