how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize