Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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