Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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