So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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