But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
