Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
