Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
