The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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