KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
