I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
