i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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