Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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