do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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