That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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