Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
