omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
