I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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