u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
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