this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
