I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
