4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
