i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
