ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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