So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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