What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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