i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
