Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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