she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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