im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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