This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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