Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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