Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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