I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
