My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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