found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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