I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
