Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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