used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
