wat bout pragnant strippers??
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
