were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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