I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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