just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
