I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
