Someone shit on the floor
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
