So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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