names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
