Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
