dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
