I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
