Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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