I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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