Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
