do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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